Farewell
by Rella Amelia Dalton
Summary: Another songfiction. what can I do, the idea popped in my mind while working on my fic: Someday we'll know.well just read it and save me from summaries, where I am so bad at


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Rowling nor the characters from Harry Potter. All belongs to Rowling. I do not own Within Temptation nor the song: 'Farewell'

**Song:** Farewell by Within Temptation

**Beta:** Mabel, Thank you so much!

Farewell 

Just one week before Christmas Eve, Hermione walked up the stairs of her house and surveyed the mess that littered her bedroom floor and at all the memories from her years at Hogwarts lying before her eyes. Heaving a great sigh, she walked up to her desk and turned on her muggle radio.

Listening to the music, she locked her door to ensure some privacy, and slowly made her way towards her trunk. She opened it with trembling hands and the first things that caught her eye were the photo albums that kept every memory from her childhood. Without even realizing when it happened, she found herself sitting on her bed, tears making their way down her face.

_"In my hands_

_A legacy of memories"_

A woman was bearing her soul on the radio, but Hermione only had eyes for the photo album open before her. She never had time to make a pensieve, and until then, all she had was her photo album. Her legacy of memories.

_"I can hear you say my name_

_I can almost see your smile_

_Feel the warmth of your embrace"_

As she turned the pages, her eyes settled on a picture of Harry, her one true love. She fixed her eyes on the image that was smiling back at her, memories of him filling her mind. She remembered that smile all too well; the way he softly said her name, the way he wrapped his arms around her. She put her own arms around her body; the photo album still wide open on her lap, tears still falling down her face as she remembered the way he held her. She wished he could do that again, just one more time.

_"But there is nothing but silence now_

_Around the one I loved_

_Is this our farewell?"_

But she couldn't even hope that it would ever happen again. She shouldn't, because it wouldn't ever come true; she only made the pain grow stronger by wishing, by hoping. She was all alone, she had nothing, and she had become nothing. Only silence surrounded her; a shield of silence between him and her. A safeguard to stop her from saying, "I love you" to him; an invisible glass that kept her from running up to him and holding him, just one more time.

Was it the end? Was she never going to see him again? That's what he had said in his letter that she got that morning, but was it really goodbye? Was it really the end of their friendship? They had broken up almost two months prior, but was this the end of everything they ever had? Was he really planning to go after the Horcruxes without her, essentially giving up on her that easily?

"Is this the end?" she softly whispered through her tears. "Is this our farewell?"

_"Sweet darling you worry too much, my child_

_See the sadness in your eyes"_

She remembered the late October night on the astronomy tower when she let him go. She remembered how hurt he was to learn that she valued Ron's opinion more than she valued their love for each other. The sadness in his once cheerful features hurt her more than anything else had ever done. The pain and the coldness in his voice stabbed her already broken heart to pieces. But the way his green eyes lost the sparkle that was once so bright, hurt her most of all.

At that time, they weren't together anymore; they had broken up when Ron first intervened, but it wasn't until that night that she had been afraid of his reaction, afraid that that he would discard her for choosing friendship over love. She never thought he would be silent, not yelling and never blaming her.

_"You are not alone in life_

_Although you might think that you are"_

She shivered and wiped her eyes dry. Turning another page, she saw a picture of the Gryffindor Quidditch team in their final year at Hogwarts where everyone was waving happily at her. She settled her eyes on the red headed girl and red headed boy next to Harry. They were family, brother and sister, and they had everything. She was nowhere to be found in that picture. She didn't even belong there. She knew it, and everyone else did too. Ginny had made it perfectly clear to her that she had nothing and no one.

"Don't act like you know about Quidditch, you'll only embarrass yourself," Ginny had said the previous year

The hateful words still lingered in her mind because she never believed Ginny would ever say that she didn't belong there. Hermione knew she didn't belong on the Quidditch team, but she couldn't help but think that she didn't belong to Harry and Ron either because of it. Ginny played Quidditch with them and spent all of her free time talking about it with the boys, but Hermione never really fit in. She was all alone, but at least Harry wasn't. He had his friends and he would always have his friends. She almost made herself believe that Ginny was the perfect girl for him. It was just like Ron had said just one week before that fateful night.

"It was hard having to watch Ginny with anyone...but it wasn't wrong when she was with Harry. I gave him the okay because she loved him and because he's nothing like the scum she usually dates."

His words echoed in her mind and killed her inside. Ron's words only made her believe that she was the one meant to be with the scum, instead of with Harry. Was that what Ron really meant that night? Did he really think she couldn't possibly be good enough for Harry?

"Why, Ron?" she whispered softly to herself and looking down at Ron's smiling face. "Why don't you want me to be with Harry? Why won't you just let us be happy?" she whispered softly, though she had heard his reasons why.

Ron thought he had always been left out, but it wasn't true. Ron thought they had betrayed him, but she couldn't understand how.

"I want you and Harry to be here for me, just like I'll be there for the two of you. Is it too much to ask? It's hard having to watch my two best friends together, Hermione. I already feel left out and what if the two of you break up? How much worse do think that's going to feel? How are we supposed to keep this friendship alive if you broke up?"

Hermione let out a dark laugh and wondered how their best friend could he have said that. How could Ron have sat there telling her all those awful things when all she wanted was to be happy? She knew then that she had to break up with Harry following that conversation if only to keep their friendship intact. Did Ron somehow feel better knowing he was the reason two people that were meant to be together couldn't be? He knew how horrible breaking up to the two of them was, but he made his feelings heard, and she suffered because of it.

"All of my life I've been known as the red-headed kid or as the Weasley kid. No one ever saw me as anything but the Potter boy's best friend. This is my chance...our chance to be seen as a trio, as well as individuals. Harry shouldn't be left alone with all the fame, and god knows if they'll even care if someone else was with him when this all ends. If they can't remember my name, I want them to at least think of us as a whole and not as the couple and their friend. It's not the same Hermione, it just isn't. Is that really too much to ask? Am I really being that selfish?" he asked, though every excuse he came up just made her feel worse.

They were always together, just the three of them and everybody knew that. How could Ron think the other way around? Was he jealous, or was he really just selfish? She thought of Krum and the way Ron had acted in their fourth year towards them. He had never accepted to see her with anyone else as if she was never meant to be happy. Hermione had thought, had hoped, that Ron would be happy to see his best friends together, knowing that they were happy and that they cared for each other. He kept telling everyone how much he wanted to see Harry and her happy, but couldn't handle knowing that the only way she would be happy was to be with Harry. He wouldn't let it happen. Hermione fought frequently with Ron over it but the last fight with him had finally been enough for her.

The thought of that made her fall freely, drenching the photo album still open in front of her. She put down her memories and walked up to the window, sobbing quietly but inside she was screaming.

_"Never thought_

_This day would come so soon_

_We had no time to say goodbye"_

The song on the radio brought her out of her reverie, making her focus on words that were so true to her; words that spoke volumes about her life.

She looked outside and thought of how everything ended so abruptly. One day she and Harry were happy, and the next, everything had fallen apart. She never thought Ron would ever separate them like that. The three of them had been best friends for so long, and yet they had absolutely no time to say goodbye to each other. There was no goodbye kiss. There was nothing. They had nothing.

She often wondered what Harry was doing. Had he fought with Ron too, or had he given up on his love for her? Harry said he would always love her, but was he fighting for they're love just as she had? She didn't think he had, and that's why he was out there searching for the Horcruxes alone.

_"How can the world just carry on?_

_I feel so lost when you are not by my side"_

She needed him. She couldn't carry on like that without him. She was helpless and lost whenever he wasn't by her side. She was scared; scared that she would never see him again. She was scared for his life, yet she had done nothing about it.

_"But there's nothing but silence now_

_Around the one I loved_

_Is this our farewell? "_

There was nothing she could do although there were so many things she wished she would have done. The invisible shield pushing them further and further apart was nothing compared to the silence between them, around them, around him.

"Is this our farewell?" she mumbled along with the song, and wiped her tears.

_"So sorry your world is tumbling down_

_I will watch you through these nights"_

She blamed herself. She was the one who had hurt him by letting Ron get in the way and she never even had the time to say she was sorry for everything. She wanted to be next to him, to feel his warm embrace, but she couldn't and she didn't know if she ever would again.

_"Rest your head and go to sleep_

_Because my child, this not our farewell._

_This is not our farewell"_

She shook her head and walked up to her bed again where the photo album was still open. She closed it and threw it under the bed with determination.

"This is not our farewell, my love. This just can't be," she said as the song ended. "I can't breathe without you, I can't even live," she cried as she sunk into the floor, crying harder than ever. "I can't lose you. Not again."

She wasn't going to lose him as friend, as a boyfriend, as a future husband. She still had a chance to see him, to be with him in some way and she wasn't going to let their friendship and their love disappear into nothing. She would somehow have to convince Ron, make him see, make him understand. She wouldn't stop fighting for what she and Harry had even if Ron had made it perfectly clear by letting them choose between him and they're love. She wanted, needed to change Ron's mind somehow. Until then, she had to keep fighting for Harry.

"This is not our farewell," she finally said with conviction.

--


End file.
